ME (Part lll, Reveal)

I do not want to tell you my real name
I don't want to tell you my real name because i do not like the feeling of being shaken
I do not like the feeling of my brain banging against the walls of my head
it is not natural to feel like falling off a ten story building
organs escaping out of my mouth
but i fall all day long
begging to hear poetry
that will fasten my feet to the ground
like hearts fastened to strings
but i can not depict the times its safe
I do not like the feeling of my name slipping out of my mouth
because it makes me feel
my laboring breaths
stuffing my heart in a locket
eating me whole
I do not like standing from a height
where my name is the breeze
because I can not say my name
without it feeling drunk, red and raw
but that doesn't stop me
from saying it anyways...

I do not like how it traps me in my chest.

but I can not tell you my real name
because this one is already engraved into your heart
I can see you
trying to read it from the other side
in a state of mind
what will someday be mine

but i don't like my name because
and it kills me to think
that slam poetry comes as easy to some as mumbling does to me

And sometimes I think that the people laughing near me are laughing at me
and sometimes my name does to.

I wish I wasn't so hard on myself.

but 5 minutes ago i was writing this poem as fast as i could
because i thought my time was running out.
and well it is.
because this is it.

this is me.