Me

it was suppose to be you

it was suppose to be you

and its not even winter
but it feels like it.

because sometimes
late at night
i still love you

and when i go to sleep
ill close my eyes
and dream of us together
but each morning
is a wake up call to the empty space of reality
waiting for one last morning to arrive
with one last instant
to make you love me

including that one moment i thought you did

each tear
containing traces of you
falls to my pillow
i count them
one
two
three more tears than yesterday
and still a fraction of the number of days i can survive without you

but your heart was always be smaller than your head

and you still treat me more like a broken faucet
than a broken human being
that maybe just wants a hug

but i still can't get over how your eyes
are like tangible oceans
that fit perfectly into your sockets
craving a dash of pollutant

and how the curves of your hands
are the curves of the highway
and the night was your eyes
because even the darkness can be loved

so
ill disappear from your quiet world
as it should be
and let each tear fall quietly
to the bottom my grave
and flavor everything i see

but the way you speak dying syllables
over restless nights
fills my mind with a single sentence:

its you.

its you.

so for now
i am an ocean waiting out a storm

because there is no capacity of pool that can hold me

even though i finally found a song
that will let me sleep at night,
the things that brush against my skin will still,
always lead me back to you.