A final word.

i feel like a lost cloud that can't find its owner

i never had one.

thanks nelson, for helping me realize i was never tied down

Listen

Even in all these hours to burn
I still find time to singe my feelings down to two single thoughts:
The first comes to me before I sleep
It comes saying all I need is your moonlit face,
even when I have the entire moonlit world.
The second comes with the sun,
to remind myself how stupid moonlit nights are anyways.

Day and Night

Never fighting but always turning between
happy and sad,
light and dark,

At night my feelings lead me to the destruction of me without you
but the day reminds me I'm worth so much that I don't question myself so anymore

I am full of the sun when it sets
but I still can't find enough holes to poke to let you in,
just my eyes,
but my eyes are enough to see you covered in the moonlit curtains below

You are not yin and yang.
You are on the boarder of both at the same time,
a perfectly balanced child on a balance beam
a perfectly drawn line
resting on the curtain of silence

You immerse yourself in your life
like the orange clouds into the sky
I want to be like you.
I want a shorter life
but more to give,
but instead I see you every day like dark to light.
there you are waving,
waving at me,
I wish I was always filled with rays of you but instead
night and day conflict like the villain and hero in the movies
and there you are to watch
silently taking in what is a film played out in peices
that you will never understand
but it makes perfect sense to me
because its what is going through my head
now i just need a director who knows how to get me to you

but no matter how hard i try there is no stopping the time that leaves your eyes
every day I pass you in the hall
and every night in my mind before i go to bed.
there is so much to learn about the stars in me
and the milky orange in you
somehow i know they are connected

I just have yet to figure out why.

Feeling alive when the birds sang in the trees.

I remember.

feeling alive
when the birds sang in the trees.

cancelling plans because
i didn't like being shaken.

being afraid to hug you because
I thought I would never let go.

feeling alive
when the birds sang in the trees.

trying to make peace with myself
one day at a time.

crush on Alice S Blackwell.
(I couldn't afford to love)

feeling alive
when the birds sang in the trees.

sitting on the fence
for the fear of breaking dams
its true

misery being accepted

and I remember feeling alive

when the birds sang in the trees.

Why I wont put my feet in the shoes sitting by the bed.

why i wont put my feet
in the shoes sitting by the bed

maybe i just need to run to you barefoot

raw and incomplete

to tell you
im sorry
im sorry
this wasn't what i wanted
when i said i didn't want to love you anymore